Feminine Air

4 out of 5 Krakatoa Specials


On the docks of Higher for Hire, Kit referees a paper airplane flying contest between Baloo, some scruffy freelance pilots and an unpleasant polar bear called Coolhands Luke.  Coolhands is a piece of work --- this guy hates to lose and deliberately aims his plane to knock on the others to the ground --- a sign of things to come.  

Kit admonishes him, "Hey Coolhands!  This isn't bumper planes!"

Baloo's fancy plane easily wins, executing a complex series of rolls and lands gracefully on the dock.  

Coolhands says snidely, "You toss a mean spit wad, Baloo, but when it comes to flying the real thing, you might as well stay in the hangar.  A pilot worth his rudder works for the best people.  You work for a rookie, non-pilot female!"

Baloo can't see what the fuss is about. "Oh, Rebecca's the brains of the operation.  She pilots the desk while I pilot the plane."

"You've been pilotin' the pier all week.  What's the matter --- sky too scary?"

"Listen, deadhead, we just happen to be waiting a very important client --- Mr. Robert Service of---!"

"---At Your Service Delivery Service?" Coolhands finishes smugly.

Rebecca approaches them. "Baloo, has our client arrived yet?"

Before he can answer, Robert Service, a nerdy, bespectacled rabbit appears, and Coolhands interrupts. "Yours hasn't, but mine has!"

Robert Service gets right to the point.  "See here, Miz Cunningham, Coolhands has informed me that his company is run by people with experience... with pilot's licenses..." He fixes her with a stern glare.  "... with sideburns!"

"What do sideburns have to do with hauling your coconuts to Kookamunga?"  she snaps.

Cody (as Baloo):  Hey!  That’s where my coconut bra came from!  Good thing we’re going there.  I need a new one.
Gidget (as Rebecca):  Make that two.

"The customer wants the best man for the job, which includes you out, lady," Coolhands says.  He walks away, taking Higher for Hire's customer with him.

She watches them go. "That's the third client we've lost this week."

Baloo is equally disheartened. "It's the hogwash Coolhands is spreadin' about you that put them off."

Rebecca clenches her fists with determination. "The better business person will always prevail, and I'll prove it." Then she wilts.  "Just as soon as I think of how."

Later, in an apparently desperately bid to boost business, Baloo and Kit march around town in band uniforms, with Baloo in a one-man band harness (drum, cymbals, etc.). 
Gidget: (as Kit)  "First bellhop uniforms, and now this!"   

They run into Coolhands on the street, who taunts them about being too scared to fly. 

Baloo scowls. "I don't see you up in the wild blue yonder, Cold Feet."

"I took a break to sign up for the great Air Scavenger Hunt.  They oughta retire the title, though," Coolhands says, polishing his medal, pinned to his coat.  "I've won it every year."

"Only because I haven't entered!"

"Oh, couldn't get permission from the boss lady?" he taunts. "'Fess up, Baloo, how are you gonna fly with all those apron strings in the way?"

At the Air Race headquarters, Baloo and Kit try to enter the contest, but are informed by the goat judge that although they have a pilot and aircraft, they need a sponsor from one of the local aviation clubs.  The race starts at three sharp, so they hustle to the clubs to request sponsorship.  

"Baloo, we need to find a sponsor," Kit says (unnecessarily).

"There's something even tougher we gotta do first."

"What could be tougher?"

"Gettin' the afternoon off from Rebecca."

At H4H, Baloo approaches her.  "Becky... I mean, Rebecca.  I need to talk to you."

"And I need to talk to you.  Baloo, would you mind taking the afternoon off?"

"Now hear me out---!" Then he realizes that she didn't say no.  "Did you say 'time off'?"
"I'm working on a really big idea to drum up more business, and I need to shut the place down for today."

"Aw, it's a sacrifice, but if it's for the good of the company..."

"It is, trust me."

"Come on, Kit.  I did it!" Baloo runs out to the dock, jubilant.  "Kid, it's just you, me and the Sea Duck!" 

Just as he's boarding the plane, Rebecca yanks him down from behind. "Baloo, the Sea Duck wasn't part of the deal!  I need it!"

He's incredulous. "Need it?  You can't even fly it!"

"It's for the good of the business!"

"All right, okay!"  Knowing better than to argue with her, Baloo turns to go.  "Come on, Kit."

Later, Baloo goes door-to-door, trying to canvas for a sponsor with an airplane, doors are slammed in his face because, as Kit puts it, "Gosh, Baloo.  Just because you work for a girl."

They hear a nasty chuckle.  Coolhands has been watching, enjoying the whole thing.  "Hope you don't mind that I put in a good word for you in the clubs here."

Baloo is just about to knock on another club door and turns to glare at him.  "Oh yeah?  One club says yes and you'll be eatin' my prop wash!"

Coolhands notices that the sign on the door says 'D.O.A.' --- Daughters of Aviation and laughs.  "Oh, brother!  You just might have found the one club dumb enough to sponsor you --- The Daughters of Aviation!"  

Baloo's hand stops in mid-air before the door.  "The... Daughters of Aviation?"

"Correct-a-lutely.  You'll be perfect for them!"  He walks away, laughing.

Fed up, Baloo gets an idea.  He disguises himself as a female pilot and calls himself 'Tan-Margaret' and succeeds in getting the D.O.A. to sponsor him (or rather... her).  Mary Lamb, representative of D.O.A. is very happy to have him.  "Hello, Tan-Margaret.  I'm so grateful you turned up.  Our top pilot couldn't find a babysitter."

Kit sees Coolhands and tugs at ' Tan-Margaret's' purse, hissing,  "Incoming at three o'clock."
Gidget:  If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was trying to snatch it!
Cody:  (admiringly) That Kit.  Always practicing the finer skills of life.

Mary Lamb is
sweet-natured, but dislikes Coolhands Luke intensely.
"That Coolhands is the biggest meanie I ever met!  Just ignore him, Tan."

Coolhands laughs at them.  "Oh boy!  Girls!  Why don't you save yourself the entry fee and go buy yourself some silk stockings?"

'Tan-Margaret' drews himself up indignantly.  "'Cause you're not gonna win this time, Big Mouth --- not with me in the contest!"

"Aw, what's the matter ---, hurt your feelings?" the nasty pilot raises his chin and points to it, blowing a couple of mock-kisses..  "Well, go ahead, take your best shot if it'll make ya feel better!" 

Of course, Baloo slugs him with all his might, knocking him on his butt.  

"Oh, wow... what a woman!"  Coolhands is smitten by Tan-Margaret and snows 'her' with charm and insists on escorting her to her airplane --- which surprise, surprise --- turns out to be the Sea Duck with Rebecca as the navigator. 
Baloo is surprised to find out that he'll be flying his 'baby' in the contest after all.  "The Sea Duck!  How did you wrangle that, Mary dear?"

"That's Mary Lamb," she corrects him.

It turns out that Rebecca
and Mary Lamb are old friends and have made an arrangement:  In exchange for lending D.O.A. her plane, Rebecca gets a chance to drum up some publicity for H4H.  Baloo just smiles at her weakly and waves his clipboard.  It looks like he has a new navigator.

Rebecca consults the clues.  "From this place we get the stuff that makes the mornings seem less rough?"  The answer is coffee, and the best place to get coffee beans is the little island of Crackyertoa, east of Java.   When they land, they split up to search for the item.

Baloo grumbles about his girdle until he trips in the sand.  Someone helps him up. "Let me help you, Glamour Gums."  

Baloo squeaks in his Tan-Margaret voice, "Coolhands!  What are you doing here?"

"I've been waiting here so we could have a few minutes to be alone."  Amorously, he tries to put his arms around 'Tan-Margaret' and purses his icky lips for a kiss.

Repulsed, Baloo tries to move out of reach but tries to stay in character.  "Coolhands!  You'd better get goin' if you don't wanna lose this race!"

"Oh, I won't lose.  I got it all worked out.  We'll tie this race and then we'll tie the knot... together."

Shocked and forgetting to be Tan-Margaret for a second, Baloo's own  voice comes out.  "Us?  How?"  He clears his throat and squeaks again, "I mean... how are you so sure we'll tie the race?"

The polar bear smiles.  "I have a secret."

Baloo mumbles, "Brother, you ain't the only one."

"I always steal the answers and get to the clues first, but this time, I waited for you."  He kisses Baloo's hand, who yanks it away.

Again, Baloo's real voice comes out, deep and booming. "You cheat?"

"You catchin' a cold, Love Lungs?  Now listen up, 'cause I'm only gonna do this once."  He gets down on one knee, takes Baloo's hand and asks dramatically, "Tan-Margaret, will you marry me?"

Baloo desperately scrambles for an answer. "I-I could never marry a cheater!"

"You-you got one of them consciences, don't you?" Coolhands is genuinely surprised.  "Oh, I understand.  You don't have to hit me over the head!"  Suddenly, something comes down on his head, stunning him.  "Well, okay... if you want to."  Then he falls unconscious.

"Tan!"  It's Rebecca to rescue --- she'd bopped Coolhands with a coffee bean plant.  "I didn't have a chainsaw to cut it down with, so I used my nail file!"
Gidget:  How dainty.
Cody:  Does Becky even have fingernails?
Gidget: (as Baloo) Sure, she does!  Ow!  Just look what she did to my back. 

They quickly leave to find the next item.  Coolhands wakes up, looking dazed.  Then a murderous expression crosses his face.  "No woman makes an idiot out of Coolhands Luke!  I'll let them collect all the clues for me and then I'll show them who the best man really is!"

In the Sea Duck, Rebecca reads the next clue.  "Best be quick when you land upon this place of timeless sand.  Quick... sand... quicksand!"

"Way ta go, Becky!" Baloo cheers.  "And I know the beach that's just covered with the stuff --- the Geraldo Riviera!"

Next scene, they're hanging upside-down from a tree to get a pocket watch tied to a plant surrounded by quicksand.   Even though she's holding his ankles, Baloo still can't reach it.  Then a silk stocking falls on his nose.  "I don't think your extra pair of silk stockings are gonna make me any taller, Rebecca!"

"But they will, Tan!  You should be able to scoop up the watch with them."  She's right, and they get the next item.  

While they're busy getting the watch, Coolhands crawls under the Sea Duck and saw a square hole in the floor, directly under the goody crate.  As they’re doing the flight check, he switches his crate with theirs, and somehow replaces the cut-out piece of floor.  "Reject me, will she?  If I can't have her, no one can." 
Cody:  Which bothered me --- they don't notice the dork under the plane.
Gidget:  Hey, that's no way to talk about Wildcat!  ;)

Soon they've completed the list and regarding the crate with satisfaction.  But Rebecca looks worried.

Baloo asks, "What's wrong?  We've got all the clues."

"I've lost one of my earrings in there."

"Well, we'll find it after we win."

They'll on their way to the finish line when they hear a familiar voice floating from a nearby plane.  "So that you never forget me!"  Cool Hands throws a bouquet of roses lands on their hull.

"I only wish I could," Baloo mutters.

"Why, Tan-Margaret, you have an admirer."  Rebecca waves to the other plane.

"Don't encourage him, Rebecca!"

Rebecca grins slyly and teases,  "I think he has a crush on you."

Suddenly, the roses fall away, revealing a cluster of magnets.  The Sea Duck's controls spin in several directions, useless. 

, you mean!  He's booby-trapped my baby!"  Baloo panicks. "Omigosh! Magnets! He's neutralized the controls!  I can't fly the plane!  We're gonna crash!"

They plunge to earth, screaming in terror.  A life preserver gets caught on Baloo’s head and while he’s struggling to remove it, he accidentally jerks it off with his hat and wig.  Luckily, Rebecca is busy.  She finds a broom, ties a rope around her waist and climbs out the window, then onto the hull.

Baloo can’t believe it. "Rebecca, this is no time for a spring cleaning!"

"Oh, yes, it is!"  With the broom, she manages to pry off the magnets.  “Tan?  I did it!”  Then she loses her balance and falls.  For a few seconds, the rope around her waist gets caught on the wing and she's suspended.  "Whoa!  Superior business sense can be dangerous.  Okay --- how would they handle this in business school?  They'd fall..."  

The rope is quickly sliced by one of the propellers, and she plunges to earth shrieking.  Luckily, Baloo saves her by diving below her, then maneuvering the plane sideways so Rebecca falls back through the window.

Amazed that she’s still in one piece, Rebecca breathes, "That's the Baloo Barrelhouse Backward Roll!  There's only one person I know who could fly like that."

"Oh... really?”
Gidget:  You know Baloo is just dying to brag, don’t you?
Cody:  Ever the glory hog.

"And between you and me, I'm glad someone else is as good a pilot as that lazy bum.  Maybe a little competition is just what that bag of bones needs to shake him up a bit!"

Meanwhile Coolhands is relaxing with his plane on a rocky ledge.  "Almost time to head over to the finish line.  Don't want to be too obvious."  

Suddenly, he hears the sound of approaching engines.  Cocking first one ear, then the other, he listens, frowning.  Just then, the Sea Duck whizzes over his head.  He can't believe it.  "Jumpin' gyroscopes!  But I saw them go down!"

He starts his engine and gives chase.  "No babe's gonna beat me!"

"Sorry, Handsy!" Baloo calls to him as they fly past.  "Ladies first!"

They fly past the balloon where the goat judge is waiting, cutting the ropes that holds it there.  He floats further down the field and they go to meet him to claim their prize.  He's just about to give them the trophy (a hideous crown that looks like a hood ornament), but Coolhands snatches it from him.

"Excuse me, your Judgness, but don't you want to check their cargo first?"

"Well, I'll be dipped!  You're absolutely right."  Unsuspecting, our heroes lead him to the crate and find it empty!  They're completely mystified, but that doesn't matter.  They've lost the contest and Higher for Hire is in deep doo-doo.

The polar bear pilot snatches the trophy and puts it on his own head.  "I'll just move my plane into the winners' circle."

Baloo is incensed.  "I don't know how he did it, but he stole our stuff!"

"Don't worry, he won't get away with it,"  Rebecca says grimly.

"Those girls were no match for my brilliance!"

Baloo as Tan-Margaret is suddenly standing on the roof of his plane and pounces on him.  "Didn't your mother ever tell you cheaters never prosper?"

Ever the coward, Coolhands gulps.  "Uh-oh!"  Also, because he still believes a woman is attacking him, he doesn't fight as hard as he might have if he'd known the truth.  The two fight in the moving plane, nearly crashing into the stands.

Rebecca watches in horror, then yells, "No!  Tan!  Stop, stop!"  They crash into a wall, knocking Coolhands's crate out of the hold.

She's triumphant. "I knew it!  Yoo-hoo!  Mister Official --- over here!".  When the judge comes over, she says breathlessly, "Coolhands packed a surprise for you in the cargo crate."

"Admit it!" Baloo has finally subdued Coolhands, gasping, "You're a cheat --- and a thief!"

"Never!  I won this fair and square!"

"Let him go, Tan," Rebecca orders.  "We're going to win this contest like ladies --- with our brains."  She points at the crate's contents.  "If Coolhands claims this stuff is all his, what's he doing with a woman's nail file?"

The judge's expression darkens.  "Uh, I didn't know Coolhands wore earrings or silk stockings?"

"No, wait, I can explain!"  He's sweating bullets now.  "I've got varicose veins!  I like gaudy jewels, heh-heh!"

But the jig is up and he knows it.  Coolhands slinks away, completely humiliated.  Again, Rebecca's resourcefulness saves the day.

The judge pronounces them (Gidget:  Bear and Wife? 
J) the winners and points them towards the winner’s circle.

Baloo tells him, "Just give us a moment to powder our noses." When they're alone, he says, "Rebecca, I just want to say thanks.  I learned a lot today."

"So did I... Baloo."

"Why---!"  He's shocked, then oddly pleased.  "You knew all the time!"

"Only a fool wouldn't recognize her best friend, Baloo!" 
Gidget (in southern Miss Daisy voice):  “Baloo, you’re mah best friend!”

"Right on, sister... right on!"  They embrace, closer than ever.
Rebecca (whispers): Why don’t you wear that to my apartment… later?
Baloo (scandalized):  Hey, I’m not that kind of gal!

Quibbles and Bits

When Coolhands is taunting Baloo in his marching band getup, his medal keeps disappearing.
In the same scene, Kit just stands there looking up at the sky like a goof.  In fact, he does the same thing when Baloo visits the Air Race HQ and the aviation clubs --- just stands there with nothing to do but react.  And when the goat MC tells them they need to sponsored by one of the local aviation clubs, Kit says something really dumb:  "Baloo, we need to find a sponsor."
Gidget:  Duh! 
  Oh, I hated that!  It was my one major quibble with this episode:  Kit was there, but he was completely ornamental.  As much as I hate to say it, he was completely unnecessary to the plot.
Gidget:  Ornamental?  That implies that the little furball’s actually attractive.
Cody: *brains Gidget with a two-by-four*
Gidget:  Now I’m ‘special’!

If Rebecca can’t fly the Sea Duck, how did she get it over to the contest grounds and surprise Baloo?

Time discrepancy:  The contest starts at three o'clock sharp that day.  At H4H, when Kit dips brush into the rouge pot, the clock on the nightstand says eight o'clock!  Then, after the contest starts (at 3pm), Baloo pours his morning cup of coffee! 
  What can I say?  He’s one confused bear.  ‘Course, that’s no surprise.

When Mary Lamb talks to Baloo as "Tan-Margaret", the  purse is his left shoulder.  When Coolhands shows up, purse is on the right one.

When Baloo (as TM) and Rebecca take off for the scavenger hunt, the calendar hanging behind them in the cockpit says 'Calendar', instead of the name of the month, like June or something. 
  Never noticed that!

When they're hanging upside-down from the tree to get the watch, wouldn't it have been easier for Baloo to hold Rebecca by the ankles instead?  How could she get her hands around his thick ankles, not to mention bear the weight?  And they risked their lives for a stupid watch.  How did the contest officials manage to put it there? 
  With the Handy-Dandy Extendo-Arm!  Yours today for the low, low price of only $49.95*!!
*plus $5.95 s&h; Visa, Mastercard, or personal checks accepted.

Using one of Rebecca's extra silk stockings, Baloo manages to scoop up the watch with it.
Gidget:  If Rebecca is holding him by the ankles with both hands, how 's she able to drop the stocking? 
  Every time Becky or Kit holds Baloo’s ankles, it bugs me.  I mean, he’s a big guy!  Wouldn’t it make more sense for the lightest person to eavesdrop on a queen or get the watch while the heaviest holds the rope or their ankles?  I know, I know.  It’s just a cartoon.
Gidget:  I know!  It’s a funny visual, but the Big Guy’s an anchor.

How could Coolhands saw through the floor of the Sea Duck with a hand saw?  And how could he know exactly where the crate is?  And replace the floor with the crate on top without it falling through the hole? 
  Flimsy plane you got there, Baloo.

When Coolhands sees the Sea Duck fly past him to the finish line, he takes off after them from a tiny ledge.  Doesn't he need a runway?

After the contest begins, Baloo frequently forgets to talk like a girl and lapses into his own masculine voice.  Rebecca is uncharacteristically oblivious. 
  Maybe she figured “Tan” had a cold. ;)  Seriously, I didn’t buy it at the end when she told Baloo that she knew it was him the whole time.  She was too genuinely oblivious and she’s not that good an actress.  I think she figured it out after the Baloo Barrelhouse Backwards Roll.

Rebecca wasn't wearing earrings.  How would she lose one?  I mean, she's got no purse, no pockets big enough to house a nail file, earrings and silk stockings without making it bulge.  The fact that she has these items is just a clumsy deus ex machina.  Too many coincidences.   
  Both of those bothered me, too.  Since when does she wear either?  She never wears shoes, so why would she bother with stockings at all?  As for earrings, I thought she didn’t have any jewelry.

When did Coolhands find the time to buy roses during a race?
  Did Becky open a mid-air florist?
Gidget:  Wouldn’t surprise me.

Rebecca's scream as she falls out of the plane sounds like a really bad Tarzan yell.  "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!"  She also lands much too neatly into the cockpit when Baloo tilts the plane to catch her.  The propellers would have diced her. 
  *snorts* They missed a great opportunity, didn’t they?
Gidget:  You’re having way too much fun with this, aren’t you?
Cody:  What?  Making fun of Becky?  Naw...;)

The calendar hanging behind them after Rebecca is saved --- the word 'Calendar' is missing

Neat Little Details

Goat judge has an appetite for anything in reach (chews mattress while interviewing Baloo as a candidate for the Air Race.  Mild-mannered with a slow drawl, yet a no-nonsense guy...rules are rules, according to his code.  His favorite expression ("Well, I'll be dipped!") is the same one of that of Crazy Edie (The Sound and the Furry).

The name 'Coolhands Luke' is a movie in-joke (1967's Cool Hand Luke, starring Paul Newman) 
He and Kitten Kaboodle (A Star is Torn) have the same M.O. --- sabotaging planes. 
  Maybe those two ought to get together.
Gidget (shudders)

Air Clubs that reject Baloo:
-Aero Cubs (St. Bernard) "Oh, yeah, I've heard about you.  You're the wash-up who works for a skirt!"
-Cloudhoppers (fox with a whistle around his neck)
-Sky Vikings
-Knights of the Sky (dog in goggles)
Gidget:  The Red Baron?
Cody:  Snoopy?

Daughters of Aviation (D.O.A.) --- in medical and cop-speak, D.O.A. stands for 'Dead on Arrival'. 
  Real nice club initials.  Think it makes prospective members think twice before joining?

The name 'Tan-Margaret' is a Hollywood in-joke (60's sex kitten/respected actress Ann-Margaret; also known as Ann Margrock on The Flintstones)

The name 'Mary Lamb', the ewe sponsor of D.O.A. is a nursery rhyme in-joke (Mary Had a Little Lamb)
Gidget:  That Mary Lamb has got to shave her legs. 
  And lose the pink pinafore.  *shudders*  Pink…auuugghhh!!
Gidget:  Cody, Cody, Cody… I thought we worked through this issue in Group.
Cody: (hyperventilates) Pink... bad...

When Baloo socks Coolhands in the jaw, instead of stars or tweeting birdies, look quick (or freeze-frame) and you'll see little Coolhands cupids fly around his head. 
  Seeing that guy in red Speedos was scary…
Gidget:  Coolhands in red Speedos… auuugghhh!!
Cody: There's an image that'll give you more nightmares than any horror movie ever made.

Stock character (never speaks) is the scruffy hippo pilot who appears in episodes when a group of pilots is required.  He brings down the checkered flag, starting the race.

Clever puns abound in the locations:
  -Coffee is found on the Little Island of Crack- yer- toa (Crack your toe), east of Java.  Notice that the island on the map is shaped exactly like a foot, with toes.  Near the 'toe' is a a little pain 'star', as if the toe got stubbed.    
  -Quicksand is found on the Geraldo Riviera.  (Geraldo Rivera was a TV host during the trash-TV era of the 1980's, along with Oprah and Phil Donahue)

Near the end, we see Amelia Airhead (?) and a lone Thembrian in the stands.

T.O.: (added in 2008):  In the scene where Baloo is being the one-man band, there is a poster on the building advertising H4H.  If you look closely, I'm pretty sure it is the same poster Rebecca had made up in Touch of Glass. 

Funny Stuff
Mary Lamb finds out that shaking hands with Tan-Margaret is a bone-crushing experience)
"That's... some grip you've got there, Tan!"
Kit nudges Baloo, who thinks fast.  "Comes from doin' a man's work all day!"
Mary smiles with understanding.  "I hear that, sister!"

When Rebecca drops the stocking, it lands on Baloo's nose, making him sniff.  Hope it was clean!  ;)

Cody:  Not that he’d care if they weren’t.
Gidget (as Baloo):  Hey-hey, I ain’t a picky bear!



"Ooh!  That's it!  No more ribbin' about working for a girl!  Come on.  I'm gonna get that Coolhands right where it hurts --- in the medals!" 
  Y’know, that could be taken in so many ways…
Gidget:  Brass balls?
Cody:  LOL!

"She may know how to figure, but I know how to fly!"

Baloo decides to dress up as a woman to teach Coolhands a lesson.
"Time someone unraveled him some."
Kit:  "But who's gonna sponsor you?"
Baloo:  "Come on.  I need you to make sure my seams are straight."
(refers to the practice of women using an eyebrow pencil to draw pretend nylon seams down their legs, since real nylon was being rationed for parachutes in WWII).
Later... after Kit finishes Baloo's makeup.  "Awesome!"
Cody:  I would have said scary, but whatever floats your boat, kid.
Gidget: (as Baloo) Too much blush?
Baloo admires himself in the mirror.  "Kid... say hello to (falsetto girly voice) Tan-Margaret!"
Gidget:  (as Kit) Baloo, as of right now… I do not know you.

"'Think coffee'.  How 'm I supposed to think at all?  This girdle's cuttin' off the blood to my brain!"
  Baloo has trouble with girl clothes in The Spy in the Ointment too. Taking off his high-heeled shoes, he sits down to fan his sore feet.  "I don't know how gals get around in these things!"

Coolhands Luke

(taunting Baloo about working for a woman)
As Baloo and Kit pass him advertising H4H in band uniforms and drums. "So this is what you do with a washed-up cargo outfit.  You start a conga."

In love with Baloo in drag)
"I never met a woman like you in my entire life... a real spitfire!"
Baloo mutters:  "Hope to kiss a hippo, you haven't!"

These howlers are his idea of being suave: 
"You're the one I've been waitin' for.  Let me escort you to your craft, my angel of all things wonderful."
"Which of these vehicles will cart my heart into the sky?"

When he kisses Tan-Margaret's hand, "she" pulls away, asking icily, "Don't you need to start your engines?"
Coolhands says, obviously trying to sound mysterious, "My dearest, I already have."
  LOL!  The innuendoes in this series are absolutely ingenious.

"Let me help you, Glamour Gums."
"You catchin' a cold, Love Lungs?"
Gidget:  I just love his endearments.  They remind me of Peg and Pete when they get sickeningly lovey-dovey on Goof Troop.

"Now listen up... 'cause I'm only gonna say this once.  Tan Margaret... will you marry me?"
"I understand... you don't have to hit me over the head. (Rebecca bonks him with a coffee tree plant)  Well, okay... if you want to." 
  I just love that line…
"If I can't have her... no one can!"

Tries to explain why there are women's articles in his crate:
"... and silk stockings.  
"I was so excited about getting my earring back that I didn't hear what you were saying, Coolhands!"
"I've got varicose veins... I like gaudy jewels!"
Gidget:  Okay, I buy that.  But how about explaining bra and tampons?
Baloo: (snatching up the coconut bra)  My bongos!  Hey, I've been lookin' for those everywhere!
Cody:  (as Baloo, snatching up the tampons) And those are my earplugs for when Becky yells at me!

"We're going to win this contest like ladies... with our brains!"
(puts away her knife and sighs heavily) Well, she’s no fun.


Gidget:  I give this four Krackatoa Specials.  I'd like to give it five, but the improbability of Rebecca's rescue and the convenient way she and Baloo fail to notice that their cargo had been tampered with bugs me.

Cody:  I agree completely—hey, don’t look so shocked!  This was a very entertaining episode with memorable characters, lotsa action, and great plot and pacing.  I just wish they would have either made Kit’s role less ornamental or eliminated him altogether—shut up, Gidget. ;)  I love it when Baloo dresses in drag and then gripes about feminine apparel.

Gidget:  Feminine Air is, in many ways, similar to The Ransom of Red Chimp --- unrequited love gone comically amuck.  Repulsive would-be lovers (Aunt Louise and Coolhands) chase terrified object of their crush (Don Karnage and 'Tan-Margaret', respectively).  Coolhands Luke is a creep who should be buried alive under an avalanche of scented tampons. 

(laughing too hard to comment) 

Gidget: Ahem. He's competitive to the point of insanity.  When he wins, he gloats, but when he loses... he's dangerous.  He's not a funny villain, like Karnage or urbanely clever, like Shere Khan.  He holds all women in contempt and thinks they're brainless little frou-frous. 
Besides his belief that girls are weak, foolish, etc., his antagonism may be something deeper (in life, it always is). They reject him socially, so he hates them on principle and wants to teach them a lesson for ignoring him. That's my theory, anyway. He's petty and unable to let small annoyances go to the point of obsession.  When 'Tan-Margaret' turns down his proposal of marriage, he sets out to murder both Rebecca and the so-called love of his life, who he believes to be his ex-girlfriend.  He's a mean S.O.B. with no redeeming qualities.  Coolhands is downright evil and the most despicable villain in the series, IMO. 
  True.  He’s also the most unrealistic.  Everybody’s got some redeeming quality.
Gidget: (as Bugs Bunny)  He may not be very pretty now.  But he was someone’s baby once.

Like Bearly Alive, My Fair Baloo and A Star is Torn, this is one of the most significant B&B episodes.  By the end, Baloo and Rebecca become closer friends and learn to appreciate each other.

May 2003

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